peace out, freshman year part IV: Things I Learned at College

alas, the final installment of the series. missed the other parts?

click here. and here. and here.

And here's the list:

Just because it says chicken on the package does not mean it’s actually meat. I’m looking at you, buddig.

Nutella is its own food group.

Be quiet on the bus. No one wants to hear about your dog’s bowel problems.

It is possible to only attend a class for two weeks and still get a B in it. I don’t recommend this path though.

Never leave things on your porch. People will seran wrap them.

Sell your books back at the beginning of bookstore buy-back week before they reach their quotas.

Going by fake names at food places only works until you give them your debit card.

If you drop something in front of a pretty sheltered boy, you probably shouldn’t say “balls.” They don’t really appreciate the sentiment.

Laundry: the gentle cycle? Please. The regular cycles don’t even get your clothes clean.

You probably shouldn’t pack your ghetto fridge full of food. It will freeze the stuff in the back and everything in the front will go bad.

Don’t go on a blind date with someone five years older than you. Awkward…

If you don’t like talking to people, sit in the middle of the row. Everyone else pulls the douche bag move and crowds the edges.

Yes, you can live off bread and cookie dough.

People like you more if you give them food.

The internet goes on forever. Your due dates don’t.

No one wants to see you making out on the grass with your significant other.

Probably check if there’s toilet paper before you go to the bathroom.

Don’t be alarmed when you find people sleeping in the bathroom, library cubbies, hallways, etc.

You probably won’t make your solid friends until a few months into school. Everyone else is adjusting too. It takes people awhile to get settled and really act like themselves.

Advice I should take but don’t: don’t make weird noses. People think it’s weird.

Don’t be the guy that takes their shoes off in class.