Making me emotional today (and a lot of the time).

Hello, friends. Today I am going to discuss the Ordain Women's movement and Mormon feminism.
...Well, it's not much of a discussion since I am just typing at you. But, semantics. Also, I rode a tiger today.

Just kidding, I didn't really ride a tiger. But I wanted to make sure you didn't stop reading as soon as you saw "Ordain Women" or "Mormon feminism."

Disclaimer: the views in this post are strictly my own. Although they may be shared by many, there are a multitude of opinions surrounding these subjects. I do not wish to say that I represent all LDS women. Because I do not. And neither does anyone else who shares their opinion about these topics.

So, here we go!

I am a young Mormon feminist.

What that statement means: 

I support equal political, religious, economic, and social rights for women to those of men.

What that statement does NOT mean:

-I hate men.

-I believe women are better than men.

-I believe men and women are the same.
-I believe women should work instead of raise families.
-All women are oppressed everywhere.

I am a feminist because:

-I have to even qualify my above statement.

-My religion teaches that all are alike in the sight of God. That includes men and women.

-Because people still insult men by saying, "Don't be such a girl."

-Because our society teaches us that, sexually, women are a lock and men are the key.

-Because the "Friend Zone" is an idea that exists. NEWS FLASH: being a kind and generous friend to a woman does not mean you have earned the privilege of being more than a friend. You should treat all people that way in general. Women are not machines that you put kindness and gifts into in order to "earn" a physical relationship.

-In relation to the above point, when a man has a crush on a woman who doesn't return the feeling, we pity him and root for him. When a woman continues to pursue her crush on a man that doesn't reciprocate, it is seen as creepy or pathetic. See every teen movie ever for examples of this.

-Our society associates a woman's worth with her sex life. If women have sex before marriage, they're a "slut." If they're not having sex, they're a "prude."

-We teach that rape is the fault of the victim. If she was drinking, or dressing inappropriately, or flirting, then it is her fault that a man forcibly had sex with her.

-Because I once had a guy friend say, "Women should start by being interesting and attractive..." Women do not exist to please men. Women exist to live their lives just like every other human.

I am a Mormon feminist because:

-Girls at my school have the mindset that they're only getting their education so they can have a career if "something happens to their husband."

-In General Conference, men give talks on all subjects. Women give talks on family and womanhood. Women are just as capable of giving talks on doctrinal principles like the atonement, priesthood, etc.

-When I was in young women, our lessons about the priesthood usually involved having a member of the bishopric come and teach us about it, instead of my female leaders teaching the doctrine.

-Women are seen as "weaker" or not feminist if they are stay at home Moms.

-Women are taught to dress modestly because men can't control their thoughts. Guess what? That idea is degrading to men, who can control their thoughts and actions.

-According to Deseret Book statistics, men buy doctrinal books, but women buy self-help books.

I could probably list many many many more reasons. But for the sake of my paper I have yet to start that's due tomorrow, I'll end there.

So yes, I am a young Mormon feminist. But, no, I am not a member of the Ordain Women movement. And guess what? That's okay. You know what else is okay? Being a part of that movement.

I don't support Ordain Women because I personally do not believe that women need to, or necessarily should, hold the priesthood. That being said, I do greatly appreciate and respect the movement.

In the last week, as the Church sent a letter to the organization requesting that they refrain from protest at the General Priesthood session, the internet has blown up in my little Mormon circle.

I am all for people debating this subject and sharing their opinions and becoming more educated about the topic. But I have been so disappointed and discouraged by the lack of civility, let alone love and Christ-like conduct, that has been shown throughout the discourse. It is one thing to disagree, but it is another entirely to insult, demean or belittle others. On either side. Because when it comes down to it, each side is trying their best to live their faith in a way that they feel is right. It is never, ever okay to question someone's testimony or religious commitment because their opinion differs from yours. EVER. And, unfortunately, I have seen that a lot over the last few days. People saying that ordain women lack faith, or don't understand the Gospel. That is not true, and it is rude and hurtful to those who support Ordain Women.

Although I don't personally agree, I can relate to the reasons behind Ordain Women. Most members of the Church are not aware that in the early days of the reorganization, women gave blessings and healed the sick just as often as men did. Joseph Smith wanted all the Saints to participate in the blessings of the priesthood, and he encouraged any who had faith enough to bless and heal others to do so. That practice was lost, and I understand the desire to bring that back. I also deeply and profoundly understand the desire to be more equal in the Church.

I just don't personally believe that ordaining women is the way to do so. 

Do I sometimes feel unequal in this Church? If I'm being honest, absolutely.

But that is because of the reasons I stated above, not because of my lack of holding the priesthood.

I personally feel that I have the same access to the blessings of the priesthood as the men that hold it. 

So, no, I don't want women to receive the priesthood. What I want is for women to take charge of their current roles and responsibilities in the Church and in their lives as equals to men.

For example, so many women desire to participate in Priesthood session of General Conference. And last conference, the session was made available online for all to watch. Which is wonderful and right. But for years before, it was a constant struggle. Yet how often do women of the Church show that much interest in going to the Relief Society or Young Women's sessions? I don't see women clamoring to attend those, which are just as applicable to their lives.

I see women fulfilling their roles in the Gospel primarily through service. Which is great. But how often do we see women striving to become scholars of our religious doctrine? There are six female religion professors on staff at BYU. Six. The dogmatic culture in this Church has taught us that to fulfill their roles as members, men teach doctrine and women serve. We teach that the world has enough tough women, and that we need women who are tender. But you know what?

The world also has enough tough men. We need more men who are tender.

Why do we not teach our men to become more Christlike through service, and encourage our women to become Gospel scholars?

In my opinion, there are so many other ways that women can live up to their roles in the Gospel besides being ordained to the priesthood. And I think we need to seize those opportunities first.

While I do have a testimony of the truth of this Gospel, I know, and I hope everyone also knows, that the Church itself is imperfect and run by imperfect people. We are all imperfect. Maybe ordaining women is God's will. Maybe it isn't. But it is always God's will for us to be loving toward one another. Let's use the awareness brought on by these debates to learn how to empathize with one another, to understand others, and to address concerns in order to make improvements in the imperfections of the Church instead of letting it polarize us. Let's just all be a little more Christ-like.

So, I'll just end with this quote by Jeffrey R. Holland:

"Imperfect people are all god has ever had to work with. That must be terribly frustrating to him, but he deals with it…so should we!"