Dear Provo,

It's not you, it's me.

Okay, it's a little bit you. You just can't give me what I want right now. I need a little bit more adventure, you know? The chance to really "find myself."  (I know that's cliche, but break-up letters are supposed to be.)

We've had some good times together.
Remember that freshman year prank war? That was great.
There was that one time a guy walked in and tried to steal our TV while we just sat there until Melanie yelled at him and he apologized and left. That was weird. Hey, we found out who it was and it turns out he's married now! There's hope for everyone.
You taught me how to run consistently, which was balanced out by me becoming really, really good at making cakes.
You brought me my first opera, my first love (and my first heartbreak, thanks...), my first really bad grade, my first roommates, my first emotional crisis, my first friend's wedding, my first cushy desk job, my first all-nighter, and my first below zero temperature experience.

I'm not going to lie to you, though, you had a lot of your own issues.
Snow in June? Just, why?
Don't even get me started on the dating scene.
Also, you're a ridiculous bubble. And while that kept me safe and protected and prevented my unlocked bike from being stolen, it also included prejudices and judginess. Oh, and a lot of tools and bro-bags.
I'll be fair, though, I know I'll find those things everywhere. Yours are just so...concentrated.

So, Provo, you've grown on me and I love you a lot more than I ever thought I would. I'm genuinely going to miss your foodtrucks and ice cream shops. The cocoa bean, Sammy's (oh, MAN, how I'm going to miss Sammy's), Sodalicious, the temples, cherry blossoms in spring, the first snowfall (and only the first one), strangers smiling at me on the sidewalk, friends across the hall, rent-a-puppy, wannabe hipsters...so many things that make giving you up hard. But, especially the people.


Speaking of people, I have to acknowledge the star players you gave me.

(Mostly in order of appearance)
Karoline: Karyine/Kardine/K-Fish, sorry about the one time I teased you about stomping up the stairs. You have grown so much and it's been a pleasure to watch it happen. You can do anything you want. A committed Karoline? Intimidating stuff. Don't be afraid of the big bad world after graduation. I could always count on you for a health crisis or embarrassing stories and it was the best. Please give me tall dancer babies, but not too soon.
Sorensen family: Thank you so much for taking me into your home and making my feel like a part of the family.

Melanie: M-cat, Kelanie, can we just appreciate that we have a couple name?  You're the scariest person I know, and I'm glad I got on your good side. Was it our disney duets or our mutual hatred for humans freshman year that did the trick? I'm not gonna question it. I could always count on you to bravely verbalize what I was thinking. Your hair in the morning is awesome. I'm going to let the world in on a secret, you're a big sweetie. It's all a facade. Some come on in, world, and knock down the Melanie walls. She secretly likes it. Melanie, you're just solid and you never back down to whatever challenge life throws at ya. I would never watch twilight sarcastically with anyone else.

Conner: My northwest kindred spirit. You took two homebody little freshmen and became their friends by sure willpower. People's defenses are useless against you because you're so hospitable and forward about it. Please make me another malt as soon as I see you.

Josh: To this day, the best guy I know. Even if you don't believe it or see it, other people do. You can do hard things, so stop being such a stress ball. It takes one to know one.

My 204 girls: No one knows how I became a pseudo-roommate, but I'm glad I did. Never ever a dull moment and more importantly, never a lonely moment. There's never a shortage of singing at 204, and there's always someone praying for you.
Stef: My heterosexual life partner. I don't know how you have your life so together, and I know you don't think you do, but trust me, you're light years ahead of me and most people. You're an old soul and the most genuine person I know. You care about every person you meet and you are truly inspiring.
Syd: I have had zero conversations with you sitting in a normal position. You always laugh at my jokes, and so I like having you around ;). No one is left out around you, because you can talk to anyone for hours. I think sometimes you don't see how brave you are, but that is one of your greatest strengths.
Alexa/Hannah: I'm grouping you as one because you are my little freshmen. Both of you have handled this year remarkably and I wish I was sticking around to see the next few. Trust the Spirit and do what feels right, even if your brain is running in circles. I've watched you make hard decisions already and I know you'll have more, but you two can handle it.
Ky: KITS. I have appreciated having a second closet all year, and I don't know what I'm going to do without it.  Kylie, you have an unprecedented ability to lead others and that is a gift and a curse. I know things haven't always gone the way you planned them and situations didn't turn out the way you pictured them. But you are strong enough to handle the changes. Have patience, because all the good in the world is coming your way for your fierce loyalty and unwavering support.
Britt: B-freshy fresh fresh, you are a joy. You make everyone around you laugh, not only because you're ridiculously hilarious, but also because you have a way of lightening any situation. And bringing people together; you're the queen of mixing friend groups. I've always admired your dedication to everything you take on from school to work to cooking without leftovers. You know how to prioritize and you don't get distracted. I'm sorry we never made our quilt this summer... haha.
Shlee: ash, bb. Talk about quiet strength. I am continually surprised by your life experiences and so impressed with the way you handle everything with grace. And you're really great at putting things into an eternal perspective. Yours is a life of commitment to God's will, and that has been a great example for me this year, and I'm sure everyone else would say the same.
Nan: Sometimes we're the same person, you're just a lot nicer and more extroverted than I am. You make me laugh until my abs hurt. You are so caring and empathetic. Stop being a dang chicken and go let everyone else love you like we love you! Sorry, about the tough love, but you can take it. Thanks for being sarcastic with me but never actually being a tiny bit mean. You sweet doe.
Alyssa: lyssie freaking lou. You are without a doubt the most generous person I know. And maybe in the entire world. You drop everything for your friends, and that is rare, my friend. You're a pusher even when you don't mean to. We all have to get out of our comfort zones just to keep up with you. I'm not sure you even have a comfort zone. If you do, you have no problem breaking out of it. Thanks for making us all a little braver.

Jared: Sometimes I want to strangle you. But I don't, because then I would have no one to complain to. And you are that person for all of your friends. Which, to me seems like a sucky role, but you enjoy being a safe place for others to say what they really think. Although you are very opinionated, you are also good at just listening.And you've gotten so much better at discerning when to do either haha.


There are so many other wonderful people I've met because of you, Provo. And they've taught me more about life than my schooling has.
So maybe I'm leaving you without knowing what I'll be doing in six months. And maybe I don't know what my career will be or what school I'll graduate from. But because of you Provo, I have a little bit better understanding of who I am.

So, it's nothing personal, Provo.
We can still be friends, right?

Kelli